Writing crap poetry intentionally can loosen a stubborn writer's block, and getting the bad stuff out of the way may make space for better verse.
If you find you love this form, rush to your nearest independent bookstore and beg them to order "Very Bad Poetry," edited by Ross and Kathryn Petras. Among the gems you will find this personal favorite:
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| cheese making, like writing bad poetry, takes skill, dedication, and hairnets. |
Ode to A Mammoth Cheese
We have seen you, Queen of Cheese,
Laying quietly at your ease
Gently fanned by evening breeze
Thy fair form no flies dare seize--
All gaily dressed soon you'll go
To the great Provencial Show
To be admired by many a beau
In the city of Toronto
Cows numerous as a swarm of bees--
or as the leaves upon the trees--
It did require to make thee please,
And stand unrivaled Queen of Cheese.
May you not receive a scar as
We have heard that Mr. Harris
Intends to send you as far off as
The great World's show at Paris.
Of the youth-- beware of these--
For some of them might rudely squeeze
And bite your cheek-- then songs or glees
We could not sing o' Queen of Cheese.
We'rt thou suspended from balloon
You'd cast a shade, even at noon;
Folks would think it was the moon,
About to fall and crush them soon.
---James McIntyre, 1866
Inspired? Come on, let's see your worst.
Link of the day:
http://verybadpoetry.com/
Send your masterpiece in for consideration.
I did, and now I am an internettedly published Very Bad Poet.
2 comments:
i've been hanging out in coffee shops,
writing bad poetry,
waiting
for a tap on the shoulder,
and a voice saying,
"hey, aren't you...
and didn't we almost....
and,wow,
i can't believe...."
"yeah," i reply,
"i've been thinking about you
for years,
and here you are,
hanging out in my coffee shop,
with the worst pickup line
ever."
reach deeper
surely you have a core
like an apple
surrounded by the seeds
of the next creation
reach deeper
after a day of downward dog
and cat cows and warrior poses
i sat in half-lotus at the ashram
listening to a hundred voices
around me chanting
om ganapati om
and all i could think was
om, gonna potty, om
Christian dreamer Jewish Buddhist
Hindu Moslem Wiccan Quaker Shaker seeker
dancing monkey mind
Shake your shakti sister
Soul mate creep bait and the same tired lines:
oh i feel so called to you
we must have known each other in a past life
you are my boddhisatva
whatever about all that
just because we can touch moonbeams
with twining tongues
and soar on lightbeams through the treetops
doesn't mean we have to get stuck together
in this lifetime
yea great you uncoiled your kundalini
no I'm not a snake charmer
I'd trade all this mess for a good night kiss
and a good old-fashioned Kansas roll in the hay
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