October is Depression Awareness Month

Feeling the bite of the black dog?

It's probably no coincidence that October is national Depression Awareness Month.  The days of decreasing light are paralleled with increases of calls to my office of people seeking support for anxiety and depression.

Depression is a life-threatening disruption that takes on a life of its own.  This graphic shows some of the connections.  It's not perfect, but shows some of the self-feeding flow of stress (psychological or physiological).  Wish I could cite the source.  It's been reprinted a lot and the few citations I find lead to dead ends.  

I've been in practice a long time.  In a town with a population of 50,000 and over 40 therapists, you'd think I'd run out of clients.  But I get 5-10 requests a week even with a phone recording saying my practice is full.  Most of my colleagues also are full.  And every year,  demand seems to increase.
What's up? 

I have a few ideas.  I have lots to say on each of them, but we'll start with the bullet points, and I'll talk in more detail in future posts.

1)  Complexity of life has increased geometrically, and with it, stress.
 a)  Work patterns have changed.  We work more, have fewer vacations, and work leaks into domestic life in ways unprecedented in history.
 b)  We are interrupted more:  by auditory and visual stimulation, by devices and demands.  There are constant challenges to our attention and rest.
 c)  Increased information leads to anxiety
      1)  We are fed ceaseless bad news about isolated events to the point we feel in constant threat.
      2)  We are exposed to countless choices that drown out intuition and lead us to second-guess if we
            are good enough or have made the ultimate best decision.

2)  Eating, sleeping and light exposure patterns of humans have changed dramatically.  Each of these affects our circadian and hormonal rhythms in ways our evolution has yet to accommodate.
  a)   24 hour food availability changes long-term human patterns of seeing food as sustenance into              sources of comfort or entertainment, leading to obesity and hormonal challenges.
  b)   Availability of cheap, heavily marketed and nutritionally thin foods appeals to instant
        dopamine rewards; robs us of vitamins and minerals that protect our physical and mental health.
  c)  Constant artificial light, night shifts, 24 hour stores, etc profoundly disrupt sleep cycles.

3)  Social connection and support are decreased.
   a)  Communities have lost their centers.  People go out less, and when they do, they engage less with each other and more with their devices.  Natural support communities such as   churches are weaker (see 1-- no one has time).
    b)  This generation reports having fewer friends and spending less face-time with those they have.
    c)  Multi-generational family connections are less valued.  More people live away from where they were born, and they move more often and more widely than in previous generations. 

In a nutshell:  lots of us are stressed out, overstimulated and overworked, underconnected, and not sleeping, exercising or relaxing as much as our body needs to come even close to the demands of modern day life.  We are anorexic not of food, entertainment or choice, but we are vastly underfed of love, support, rest and community.

It's no wonder we get depressed and anxious.

You know who fares well in times like these?  Sociopaths.  Through a quirk in their genetic evolution, they lack empathy and don't rise high on many other emotional scales either.  They don't get angsty about much that doesn't effect their personal and immediate bottom line.  We're getting good case presentations on this genotype with the current Middle School Machinations of the country's political parties.  They don't seem to be losing a lot of sleep over the jobs that folded overnight because they are in a pissing war with the president. 

But those of us who through religious or humanitarian ethos feel it is our job to be kind, to be just, to help those who cannot help themselves, to protect the earth for future generations, who put people before profit... we're feeling the pain big time.  As William Blake said:  "Can I see another's woe, and not be in sorrow too?"  Yes, apparently some can.  Watch out for them.  They are dangerous.

The more oyxtocin-dipped among us tend to be in sorrow.  Throw some complex stress, lousy sleep and poor support, and sorrow morphs into full-fledged depression.  The predisposition may have always been there, but the cultural nudges are throwing it right off the cliff.

There are interventions for depression.   Like cancer, it's a serious disease and the treatments aren't comfortable or easy, whether we're talking about talk therapy, CBT, mindfulness training or medicine.
Flawed as the approaches are, they beat the disease.  I'll be listing resources in each post.  Some you can do easily on your own.  Some that seem easy, aren't at all if you are really gone into the cycle.  Then it helps to have a coach, counselor, best friend, doctor, religious leader--somebody you trust-- hold you up when your backbone's slipping. 

But:  Don't give in.  Fight the cycle.  Choose one of the three areas mentioned and come up with a plan to intervene.  Improve your sleep, reach out for support or connection, simplify your obligations and reduce as much complexity as you can.  More details to follow.

For catch up reading, here's a few past blogs about depression.  Feel free to comment or to email me with questions.  We'll be talking more soon.
Jana


http://www.janasvoboda.org/2011/02/delving-into-blues.html

http://www.janasvoboda.org/2011/03/fading-blue-gene-cognitive-behavioral.html

http://www.janasvoboda.org/2012/04/rip-mike-wallace-newsman-and-depression.html

http://www.janasvoboda.org/2011/03/fading-blues-ii-understanding-and.html

http://www.janasvoboda.org/2012/04/marked-for-depression-maybe-implant.html

http://www.janasvoboda.org/2011/03/more-bytes-on-black-dog.html

This week's good read: Talk Nerdy To Me.

I'm an info junkie.  I've mentioned that, right?  I subscribe to way too many periodicals, and if publishers fret about the future of the printed page, I can assure them I am not in the demographic to cause them worry.

Here's a juicy tidbit from last night's reading.

WIRED magazine (technology and culture) incites my early-adopter lust even though I can no longer turn on my TV without assistance.  But there's more to it than tech porn.  This month's issue, "How Science Can Help You... "(many blanks filled in), had great articles on "how to smartify your life."  Find out how to increase happiness (perform acts of kindness, exercise, get a pet), correctly and mushlessly dunk a cookie in milk, ace a test, keep earbuds from tangling, find your soulmate or rekindle your relationship-- with SCIENCE! 

But my favorite piece this month didn't even make the cover-- comedian Chris Hardwick's brilliant "Self Help for Nerds".  Excepted from his new book, The Nerdist Way: How to Reach the Next Level (in Real Life), he covers the sins and gifts of a Certain Kind of (yep, obsessive) Mind.  From procrastination to addiction to classification and problem solving, the anxious minds and messy internal dialogues of the Sensitive Obsessive can be used for good or evil.  "Be warned!" says Hardwick.  "Sometimes obsessions cannot be piloted, and in those instances you must learn to donkey-kick your brain out of the way.  When nerds run out of things in the external world to deconstruct and analyze, guess where they go?  Inward.  We become the object of our own deconstruction protocols; an auto-cannibalism of sorts."

    Yep, it's that troublesome-- and blessed-- trifecta of big brains, big feeling, and big radar.  When it's properly focused, books are written, new species are found, Nobels are won...or at least bills get paid and nobody gets hurt.  But even non-nerds have to wrestle with brain's short-sighted desires.  Hardwick has some great advice:  talk back.  He uses the F word too much to be a traditional Buddhist, but he's onto something with his response to brain's suggestions to such brilliant ideas as " 'Get drunk in the morning!'  'Eat 50 Chocodiles!' 'Instead of working, you could masturbate!' "  Hardwick reminds us:   "You can simply say to yourself, 'I hear what you are saying, brain, but I chose to ignore you.' ...Be smarter than your brain."

You don't have to be a Junior High School Chess Champion or comic genius to make use out of Hardwick's hilarious and wise writings. See for yourself:   read the full article online at WIRED here, or buy his book at your local independant bookseller.

May your Nerdy Force be with you--
Jana

A Troublesome Trifecta

Being an oldtimer in the field, I've picked up patterns in clients over the years that are interesting and often predictive.  I noticed the kids I saw that struggled in English and more theoretical classes but were good at kinesthetic learning tended to have cross-dominance handedness as well as temper or opposition issues.  Anecdotal, but interesting, and there's probably a good neurological basis.

A very common feature I see in clients with anxiety and depression issues is what I call the troublesome trifecta.  These folks have a combination of traits:  Big Radar (they take in everything), Big Sensitivity (they feel it bigger) and Big Brains (they want to analyze everything).   As a result they have a high signal to noise ratio and spend lots of energy trying to figure out the data they are receiving.   Since much of it is noise, life can be pretty exhausting.

As stated in a recent blog, I'm a firm believer in the great benefits of the natural variation of human experience.  In other words, let's not pathologize everything.  But I can tell you, folks with the troublesome trifecta are both burdened and blessed.  Maybe they were bathed too long in the Oxytocin waters, and now that's what runs through their veins.  They see everything through the excruciating lens of Love's Potential.  They tend towards the ruminating spirit, as actor/director Jodie Foster called it in a recent interview with the National Alliance on Mental Illness.  The blessings come in the form of increased empathy and higher highs, creativity and a deep curiosity.  The burdens, unfortunately, come from the same place: the capacity for deep wounding, heaviness, and feelings of not being up for the Call.


Some people intentionally choose not to love and feel deeply.  Deep connection can result in deep loss when the connection closes, through choice or circumstance.  Highly empathic folk don't have a real choice about their capacity to experience life deeply.  But they may try to to run interference with the effects by dimming input with  drugs and other distractions. 


Half the battle is learning to know and love ourselves for who we are.  The other half is taking responsibility, even if we don't have the choice, for our limitations/strengths.  We can find ways to tone down the noise, to sort out the signal.  It requires attention and intention.  It is easier in the short run to be self-aversive or try and become comfortably numb.  That's back to losing the baby when we throw out the bathwater.  As Tom Waits sings, "If I exorcise my devils, my angels may flee too" (and he stole that line from Oscar Wilde, I think, though I can't find it now).  But it is our job--our calling-- to be aware of our impact with its gifts and limitations and take responsibility that it doesn't harm others.

Yes, I wrangle with the troublesome three-- well, at least the big radar/big sensitivity part.  I notice a lot and I don't naturally have a big filter.  This works well in my profession, especially if I apply the analysis to the data.   As always, I'm going for door number two in addressing the effects of this predisposition.  I want to wrestle with my demons and see what they have to teach, and trust my angels to keep me in line.  I want to keep enough shadow to know both light and dark when I see it and to pay attention to what I can learn there.  I don't want to trade knowledge with its discomfort and connection and wind up with blissful ignorance, at least over the long haul.

But I know there are tasks for me if I chose the less traveled road.  I need to practice mindfulness, gentle curiosity, and deep compassion as emotions and thoughts spontaneously arrive, sometimes unwelcome.  I can stay in wise mind of not-knowing the outcome.  I can decide when I've worried enough about some difficult matter and see that indulgence is of benefit to no one.  I can engage in acts of kindness and bravery despite lack of motivation or surpluses of fear.   I can practice self-soothing, not relying on others to have been hit in the same way I might be by a recent experience,  I know there is enough suffering in the daily that I won't look for entertainment in the nightly news or latest tearjearking Oscar winner.  I can sing not in spite of suffering but because there is suffering, and hope that like me, others may need my song more than my tears.  I can cry, too, when I need to, but not take residence in my tears.  I want to be available, and that means respecting my ability to deeply feel and connect, and knowing when to go quiet and replenish.

It may be that my childhood led to my family role as a caretaker.  It may be that some sensory integration deficits led to my enormous sponge for interloping sensory information,  It could be I became awash in excess oxtocyin in the womb and am forever reacting to its urgings or chasing its replacements.  For me , I am less interested in the why of how we end up who we are.  I want to learn how to best swim this ocean I am in, with respect for myself and the paths and people I cross and impact.

It ain't easy.  And it's important, beautiful, essential we don't give it up learning how to navigate these beautiful, dangerous waters.

How so?  Come back soon for tools I have gathered on the way.

This is your brain on drugs...

 As always, for more information click the highlighted links.

First-- that's a misleading title.  I really want to talk about neurotransmitters, not drugs.  Let's call them NTs for short, because I am a lazy typist.

NTs are the little chemical stews that regulate much of our emotional life.  Too short or overstocked on some, and we fall on one end or another of the bell curve that folks call "normal".  In the next few posts I will be talking about the spectrum of difference we call mental disorders and how chemistry may be involved.  I will be doing some wild speculating, so take me with a grain-- or block-- of salt.  The theories spring from many years of work in the field and lots of reading, as well as my own particular biases.

Let's start with my biases.  I think that humans are profoundly affected by both nature and nurture.  By nature, I mean the machines of our particular genetics and the effect of environment on the same.  Familial nutrition (up to generations back), and current physical environment such as toxin exposure effect the nature part.  By nurture, I am referring not only to the emotional climate of our upbringing but exposure to information and experiences throughout life.  I firmly believe in the plasticity of every brain-- the ability to reroute, change and grow in spite of our genetics.  But I also believe those genetics set up the game.

Seems to me those pesky NTs and hormones play a pretty big role.  How much dopamine, oxytocin, testosterone, serotonin etc is flowing in the system-- either manufactured or being able to be received and used-- appears to have a lot to do with how we act and feel.  It may define our temperament and personality. 

I also believe that humans are naturally narcissistic.  As one author put it (and sorry, being a print surfer I can't remember where I read this), everything we know, feel, see comes through our filter and has happened to us. We are the lead actor in our lives, and the rest of the world our backdrop.   From birth on, we see our view as The View.  Luckily, we are usually naturally altruistic too.  But since our genes and those pesky NTs may decide in advance what we feel, we may have a lot harder time understanding how it is that someone else can feel or act a lot differently. What we cannot perceive, we cannot receive. In addition to what we learn, see and experience, NTs are involved in development of empathy.  Some of us have a lot of it, and others not so much.

More biases:  I think "normal" is overrated.  We benefit greatly from the variation of expression and thinking that results from the edges of that bell curve.  Folks with what I suspect is lots less dopamine than the average homo sapien tend to be perfectionistic, orderly, obsessively detailed and restricted in their emotional range and expression.  They don't get overly excited or reactive, and they are meticulous in thinking and performance.  That's just what I want in my accountant or surgeon.  I'm not saying that all in those field are like that, but that it is adaptive and helpful in certain professions or experiences.  On the other hand, people with bipolar disorder tend to have lots of energy, emotion and enthusiasm- at least some of the time--- as well as creativity, quick-wittedness, and quirkiness.  They make better artists than those dopamine-deprived folks.  Again, I am talking in generalities.

Last bias:  as hinted in the previous paragraph, I think nature is doing its deal by spreading out the variations to the gene pool.  Barbara Kingsolver talks about this in her book, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle.  In any given year, heirloom (read: not genetically modified) corn seed will produce a variable yield.  That's because some of the seed works well in wet years, some in dry; some with early warmth and some with later frosts.  This insures that any given year at least some of that corn will grow.  It's no different with us humans.  Some of our genetic tendencies will be either culturally or environmentally more desirable in a given era.  Luckily, it's not only those that get passed down, because times change.

Related post:  What's in A Name?  Diagnostic Dilemmas

That's it for tonight. See you soon,
Jana
Must be an Ani DiFranco sort of week...

The Bravery of Relationship

People are messy.
When I'm asked about my theoretical foundation for therapy, that's my answer.  I'm not being trite.  People are messy, they do the best they can, and they show up with all their strengths and weaknesses if they do truly show up. And by them, I of course mean us.  All of us.


Psychologist David Snartch, an author of some really interesting books on relationship, talks about the tension between our desire for intimacy and our ability to tolerate it.  We want to be known, then flinch at the nakedness that involves.  It's hard to both preserve our tender egos and reveal our tender souls.  Thus relationship become the crucible where self becomes fully formed.  But crucibles are fiery and dangerous by nature, and in fear we withdraw to protect.


"A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for", said William Shedd.   By taking the risk to stay present even when we fear our whole self will not be loved, we can reach depths in relationship that unavailable in solitude.  By taking the time to show our throats when we are scared and to deeply listen when we are tender, our hearts and souls can grow.

There is a reason for metaphors referring to the bonds of relationship.  Ties that bind us can provide safety even as they engender responsibility and discomfort.  We get connection, and it does come at the cost of staying seen and close.  Sometimes that can feel like too much.  But there is nothing like sharing a history with someone who has been there for you, warts and all; someone who has seen you at your worst and still remembers your best.  All of it is truly a difficult bargain.   We can try to be a rock, but we long for water, and relationship can slake our thirst.  Our job is to tolerate the discomfort of being whole with another.  I think the payoffs are worth it.

Resolution #29: Respect The Intention of Your Resistance

This one may sound like a puzzler.  But a big reason we can have a hard time changing is because of that baby in the bathwater.  In other words, many of the harmful things we do have a positive intention or a pleasurable immediate effect.  It's the implementation or its aftereffects that get us in trouble.

We avoid something because it makes us anxious.  Wanting to be less anxious is a reasonable intention.  But when we have it hanging over our heads, we get guilt, shame, sometimes increased costs and troubles-- and in the end, more anxiety.  Identifying what we give up by changing, whether it's momentary anxiety or future unknowns, can help us address resistance factually or by developing new skills.

Many persons struggling with obesity don't fully recognize their intentions of holding onto excess weight.  Getting to a healthier weight can be about more than giving up the easy comfort and quick dopamine hits of certain foods.  It may mean facing sexual attention, dealing with anxiety around intimacy, or losing an excuse for avoiding life changes put off until that extra weight is gone.

Similarly, most things we say we want entail not only gains, but losses.  Sometimes the loss is just predictability.  Sometimes it is more.  Figure out what your resistance wants, and see if you can find a healthy way to replace the intention without the troublesome behavior. 

Resolution #28: Acknowledge and Challenge Resistance

Note:  Not my art.  Wish it was. Thank you to Glenn for tracking down the artists, Alex Koplin and David Melkejohn..  Keep them in art supplies by purchasing the print and get more info on their work at  h34dup.com  

OK-- back to work.  Three to go!  Finishing off the month with ways to improve our chances of making those resolutions, we have today's topic:  why it's so hard to change.

In a previous post, I talked about brain's desire to hang onto to instant dopamine hits as a reason we don't change.  Of course, it's not that simple.  We want things to be different, really we do.  But despite our intentions, we end up back in the same old places.  There are other forces at work besides chemistry.  A chief one:  we prefer predictible crap to the unknown.

Imagine you are standing at a cliff.  Wait-- make that clinging, very uncomfortably.  If you let go, maybe you fly and land in a much better place.  But maybe you just crash to a very messy end.
When faced with the big Don't Know, we tend to tell very scary stories.  The plane will crash, the relationship will end with not only a broken heart but a painful divorce.  We won't get the interview and will end up living under the bridge. 

Occasionally, parts of the story may be true.  Things may not work out exactly the way we hope, especially if we have unrealistic expectations of perfection.  Life is messy.  But rarely do they end as badly as we imagine when we can't even bring ourselves to try.  Still, to protect ourselves, sometimes we can't even get as far as beginnning to make the changes that might possibly lead us to happiness.  We repeat the same behaviors, sometimes hoping for a different ending, and sometimes just addicted to predictable ones. 

Tomorrow's post will talk about what we fear giving up.  But today, look at just the fear.  Spend a little time looking at ways you sabotage your own success.  Question whether you are trading comfort for happiness.

Related post:  What Anxiety Wants is Predictability

And instead of a song, today we have a poem.  Cheesy but powerful!

Autobiography in 5 short chapters
By Portia Nelson

I
I walk down the street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in
I am lost… I’m helpless
It isn’t my fault
It takes forever to find a way out

II
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I pretend I don’t see it
I fall in again
I can’t believe I am in the same place
But, it isn’t my fault
It still takes a long time to get out

III
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it is there
I still fall in… it’s a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault
I get out immediately

IV
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it

V
I walk down another street

Resolution #27: Don't Feed Ethel

Most of us have a loud and annoying bully in our head who tells us Bad Scary Stuff.  I've decided to name it "Ethel".  Please forgive me if you are or have an Ethel in your life that you love.

Ethel says things like:  "You can't do it.  You're a loser.  Why try?  You don't deserve to (fill in the blank:  be happy, healthy, out of debt, in a good relationship)."  She tells lots of scary stories with an authority that is quite convincing.  Ethel gets bigger and stronger every time you listen to her.  

Today's resolution:  Don't feed Ethel.   

When that doubting voice shows up, don't even bother talking back.  It's OK to talk to yourself. Tip:  Unless you're alone, don't do it out loud.

Tell yourself: "That's just Ethel, doing her deal."  Tell yourself some facts, like "I've been scared before and done fine anyway."  Or "I don't really know how this will turn out, and I won't know anything more if I don't try."  When Ethel has no attention, she tends to wander off.

----------

Extraneous news:

Four more to go!  I can taste the relief.  Here's a couple of comments sent to me today about the 31-day challenge thus far.  I appreciate comments and conversation.  Don't be shy!

Erica, a lovely local therapist, wrote:

I read your blog this morning...  Here are a couple thoughts you engendered for me:

     When temptation is at hand...

Sometimes I think of future self as tomorrow's self (which helps that immediate gratification self latch onto something close at hand), so I ask "what will I, tomorrow, look back and thank me, today, for doing right now to get closer to that goal. 

    Sometimes, the best I can do is "damage control"--i.e. to take a hard day or down mood and at least not make it worse with dysfunctional cognitions or behaviors.  "Damage control" reminds me that not making it worse is sometimes the most positive thing I can accomplish.  Then surely the next morning I look back and thank myself for "not making it worse."  Make sense?

And my great pal Hal, who designed my pretty work website, wrote:

Miss Jana,
Hearty congrats on your sustained resolution to write January Resolutions... To ease you into February, for yer remaining 5...consider, please, if you will:
* Resolution #27: Find an Answer to All the Giraffe Ennui
* Resolution #28: Stay Away From Those Taco Bell-Bottom Trousers
* Resolution #29: Embrace Your Inner Bingo; Polka Nights
* Resolution #30: If You See That Fork in the Road, Take It
* Resolution #31: Sing the Body Electric...But Wear Rubber-Soled Shoes, Eh?
Your indentured servant,
Wally Ferblunghit

----

For more Hal and some good reads, check out his website:  http://hdklopper.net/ 

Today's musical vid:

Resolution #9: Be Generous

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.--Winston Churchill

There are many ways to practice generosity.  It's a little late to reflect it on your 2010 taxes, but gifts of goods or money to your favorite charity are always welcome.  Don't worry about it being a small amount.  Think of it this way-- if every Oregonian gave a penny a day to say, scholarships to deserving impoverished commnunity college students, that would be $10,000,000 a year.  Every little bit counts.

You needn't give money to be generous.  Here's other ways to spread your wealth.
1.  Lend you ear to someone who needs to talk.
2.  Share specialized tools and equipment with friends, neighbors, schools.  My dad lived in a neighborhood that had a "tool library."  If you need an air compressor, serger, tile cutter or somesuch twice a year, it makes more sense to borrow one than buy one.  Just be sure you're willing to loan what you have as well.
3.  Share your talents and skills.  Volunteer to read or tutor at an elementary school; do maintenance at a local nonprofit, give a talk in your area of expertise to a community group.  Translate a language you know for someone who needs it. This one is wide open.  What can you do well? 
4.  Share your energy with someone whose is lagging.  Run an errand or cook a meal for someone sick or grieving.
5.  Share information.  OK, be careful with this one. I'm not talking about unsolicited advice.  But you may have an insider's scoop that can ease another's path or brighten their mood.  For example, when I got started in my practice, at least three therapists came forward to offer me forms to use  and client referrals.  I've done the same for another four or five.  I've had friends help me learn how to use my sewing machine, make a pie crust, etc-- all really appreciated.
I think I've only touched the surface with this one.  Look for the chance to be generous in some small or big way tomorrow.  As always, I am happy to hear what you did.

A few words about these resolutions:  these are all ways to improve your health and happiness in small ways.  I hope you will try checking each one off sometime during the month, though most are easy enough to do every day.  I will post a checklist on the blog shortly.  Print it out and see which ones you can hit at least once in the next few weeks.

I bet there are lots of videos about people's generosity and sharing on the web.  I found one about a dog first.

Resolution #8: Mind Your Manners

Today's homework is to practice your Ps and Qs, and bring back the civil part of civilization.   (Thanks, Hal!)

Use politeness words:  please, thank you, you are welcome, I'm sorry.
Let others go first, hold a door, look at people when you're speaking, smile. 
If you're visiting with someone else and not on call for emergencies, turn off your cell phone.
Try not to pay attention if other people are using their manners-- focus on being part of the solution.  But if you notice others being courteous, be appreciative.  If it's in a customer service role, tell their employer it made a difference.

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others.  If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use. --Emily Post

Today's video provides tips for you Facebook users:

Resolution #1: Spend more time in nature

A walk in the woods can temper a week of worries.  In Japan, the practice of "forest-bathing" (shinrin-yoku) is promoted as a healthful practice for calming and restoring the spirit.  City stimulation taxes the brain-- the constant background drone of machinery, the changing quality of light, the barrage of visual information takes its toll on us physiologically and psychologically.  The quieter pace of natural novelty encourages contemplation, relaxation and a more regular rhythm for both body and brain.  The flora increases available oxygen, and there are fewer interruptions to thought. Walking calms the parasympathetic nervous system and provides gentle exercise without the need for a gym membership or bulky equipment.

In the valley, there are numerous close-in trails where one can feel enveloped in natural beauty.  Terrains range from short 1/2 mile loops on boardwalks (Jackson-Frasier Wetlands) to McDonald Forest's more than 80 miles of trail through old growth and foothills. The Benton County public library has put a PDF of Phillip Hays' guide to Corvallis trails on-line-- find it here.

Resolve to spend a half hour or a day in the woods, and see what it brings you.
 

Fixing a Hole Where the Rain Comes In

It's been some week here in the heart of the valley.  When I first moved here, I would clip choice selections from the Crime Watch column of the newspaper and send them to my folks:  "Zucchini thrown through window of home.  Both zucchini and window complete loss."  "Caller reported an unwrapped birthday cake had been placed in her mailbox."  Things haven't changed too much over the years.   Here's one from this fall:  
THAT’LL CLEAR THE FLOOR: 3:11 a.m., Peacock, 125 S.W. Second St. The head of security reported that at about 2 a.m., someone set off a “stink bomb” on the upstairs dance floor, clearing the bar and alarming customers. The “bomb” was foul-smelling oil wrapped in foil, with “Fart Bag” written on the outside. 

But this week, our town received national attention when an Oregon State student was accused of plotting a bombing at a crowded Portland holiday gathering.  A 19 year old US citizen of Somalia birth,  Mohamed Osman Mohamud allegedly wanted anyone attending the popular event "to leave either dead or injured" and expressed no concern about innocent children and others being hurt.  He has been branded a terrorist; and if reports of his attempts to ignite the bomb he thought was in place are true, he truly tried to earn that title.

But nearly as troubling are the comments on news websites from viewers, quick to leap on Mohamud's Moslem identity (and his immigration status).  Many readers immediately blamed the religion, saying Islam supports and encourages such actions. Within a day of the news breaking, our local mosque was hit by an arsonist.  Some of those same readers applauded this hate crime.

To be sure, some individuals use their religion to support violence and oppression of others.  But this is a bastardization of religious intent.  Mohamud is no more representative of Islam than Fred Phelps is of Christianity-- or Hannibal Lector is of meat eaters.
Every major religion has a variation of the golden rule:  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you; and want not for another something you would not want for yourself. 

The Bible tells us: "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love."  The Qu'ran specifically forbids any "compulsion toward religion" and invokes God as the perfection of Loving-Kindness.  Passages in either holy text can be cut and pasted to support individual perversions of the universal Law of Love and encourage violence of many kinds.
It's time we stand up for love, and each other.

If you are in or near Corvallis Tuesday, Nov. 30th, join our community in a vigil of love and against fear.  

 As Mahatma Ghandi said,  "An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind."

Managing the Monkey Mind

Oh the nerves, the nerves; the mysteries of this machine called man! Oh the little that unhinges it, poor creatures that we are! --Charles Dickens

As promised, though belated, a few tips for managing anxiety-- part one.

1) Don't suffer twice. When we worry about something in our future, (and there's nothing to be done about it) it's a lose-lose situation. If it happens, we get to suffer twice. If it doesn't, we worry for nothing.

2) Mind your stories. A Swedish proverb says: Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow. We can tell ourselves pretty alarming stories that have no real basis in probability. Check for facts. How many times have planes crashed at PDX today? This week? This year? Chances are that same pilot who's already landed the plane safely 8 times this week will also do fine today.

3) Take a breath. When we are fretting, we are often literally holding our breath. We don't breathe out all the used up air, and we end up in a bit of an oxygen deficit-- which does nothing to soothe our anxiety. Try "box breathing"-- take as much time to breath out as in, and make sure to pause for a reasonable time between inhalation and exhalations.

4) Get some distraction action. Since what you feed (your mind) grows, look for healthier places to invest. Listen to some music, taste a lemon, do some art.

5) Fire up a more logical part of your brain. Think of your brain like a power grid. If one part-- say that pesky amydala, which is all about emotion-- is all lit up, chances are the areas that access logic and reason are a bit dimmed down. Shift the resources by engaging in a few minutes of algebra, or even sudoku. Firing up those neurons will take a load off.

More to come.
Meanwhile, a song to soothe you.





Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow. ~Swedish Proverb

Stuck in a (Bad) Story: PTSD

Been down this road so long...
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a type of anxiety disorder (see last blog). Ten years ago the average Joe wouldn't know much about it, but it gets a lot more media now. Not that it's new: our brains have done a fab job of storing terror for millennium. It's a survival mechanism. If something life-threatening (or deemed to be-- the brain can't take the time to differentiate) happens, the brain will store away details to recognize the danger should aspects of it reoccur. When it perceives those details again, a quick chemical spill often occurs: adrenaline, cortisol, and a slew of other bio-goodies. Adrenaline helps you run faster, be stronger-- have any of you heard the tales of mothers lifting cars off trapped children? Cortisol (in the short run) releases glucose for energy, reduces pain perception, and increases memory. Both of these are good in a crisis. And ideally, these compounds will get used up in your flight or fight reaction. Should the situation never recur, and the brain "understand" the threat as a one-time deal, you're ok. But often the storage system isn't quite that selective. Here's an example:

Let's say you are walking downtown on a beautiful July morning when, just like in all those old Three Stooges movies, you look up to see a piano being lifted by rope to a third story apartment. Say you look up just in time to notice the piano and think "Gosh, hope I sure hope that rope's secure." And that in that split-second or two, you see the fraying of the rope, and the swaying of the piano, and the next thing you know you are lying on the sidewalk surrounded by ebony and ivories.

We're going to make this an easy one. It's your mostly-lucky day, and you walk off with a sprained pinky and a few scrapes. But Brain doesn't know that. It was way ahead of you. You could've been flattened! And it knows it. Logic knows something else: you're basically fine. You hardly ever use that pinky and it will heal pretty quick. With the exception of the loss of thirty minutes to recover over a latte', nothing in your life has changed.

Except good old Brain. Maybe now every time you see a piano your heart starts to race. Going downtown has the same effect. July makes you sweatier than it should in the Northwest. Or it could be, because Logic had such good intervention in your near-death experience, that those things don't get you-- but really discordant piano music puts you in an unexpected panic attack.

In the last blog, I talked about a Viet Nam vet who had a physical flashback after unexpected exposure to a popcorn popper that sounded exactly like rear machine gun fire. Most of the time Brain does a good job of knowing when it really needs to worry, so the one-time freak accident that results in no real physical harm pretty quickly loses its punch. But when the trauma is repeated, the peril real, or when other factors such as threat to one's children is involved, Brain solidifes the information and Logic can't budge it.

Because of the developmental differences of children, their brains are even more likely to store information in ways that prove troublesome when resources and circumstances change. Early exposure or experience of abuse can cause serious problems with hypervigilance (constant alert for danger even when none has been around for a long time) and chronic anxiety even as an adult. That's because the adult body is wired around the child's experience and capabilities-- at a time when the child had few resources to resolve the threat or escape.

Symptoms of PTSD include a hypersensitivity for stimuli related to the event (like the piano in the previous example), avoidance of such stimuli, and re-experiencing of the trauma when the stimuli is encountered, such as in flashbacks or panic attacks. Some folks have a paradoxical reaction of numbing out rather than "activating" when exposed to a traumatic reminder-- the freeze, rather than fight or flight response.

The main thing to remember, if you have symptoms of PTSD, is that you are not crazy. It's a predictable response to an unpredictable event. If the activacting stimuli themselves are not dangerous (like a piano), then repeated reexposure is the best bet for convincing Brain to settle down and quit seeing it as a threat. Several years ago my family had a traumatic event in which one factor was breaking glass. I had never had a panic attack in my life prior to that, though I'd treated people with them for years. I learned a lot about compassion for sufferers of same when for a while thereafter I had panic attacks whenever I heard breaking glass. Lucky (?) for me, I am far sighted in one eye and near sighted in the other, which means I have the depth perception of Mr. Magoo and am just as clumsy. I break things pretty routinely. Within a year or two my body/brain settled down and instead of thinking lives were in danger at the sound of breaking glass, I'd just curse my clumsiness again.

EDMR is another research based treatment for addressing PTSD. I'm not trained in it, but there are several folks in this small town, so likely some in yours too.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has a good track record with PTSD and focuses mostly on re-exposure and correcting illogical thinking around the event.

Emotional Field Therapy is a less researched but self-teachable method that employs many of the same ideas as EDMR. Many swear by it, and you can do it by yourself with probably little risk (some people might want/need support of another to confront scary material).

Recreation of the event through debriefing is a bit more controversial. For some, it's re-traumatizing. But many find it very helpful to process their experiences, especially if they are unique, with others who have been through the same. Groups for survivors of domestic violence, sexual abuse, or war are available in most towns-- check the web or ask me if you can't locate them.

Quote of the day: The wish for healing has always been half of health. --L.A. Seneca

Vid of the day: Willy Porter's BREATHE. A fan download,but if you can make out the words, it's worth it. Better yet, go buy the single (or the whole CD) at your local independent store or from his site.


As noted, next blog will talk about techniques for managing anxiety in general. The material will apply to those with PTSD as well.

Resolution of the day: BREATHE

To one who has been long in city pent,
'Tis very sweet to look into the fair
And open face of heaven, - to breathe a prayer
Full in the smile of the blue firmament.
~John Keats, Sonnet XIV

Tension can result in a chronic half-breath habit, which means you're not fully emptying your lungs of waste (carbon dioxide) or getting your fill of oxygen.  The next time you're stuck at a red light, waiting in line or on hold, use the moment to notice your breathing.   Take two or three breaths that are a bit slower and deeper than usual.  Allow for a natural pause between the exhale and inhale.  Let your belly rise with each breath.   It's a quick and simple way to still your mind and relax.


I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart:  I am, I am, I am.  ~Sylvia Plath

Song of the day:  Breathe, by Willy Porter
Book of the day:  Perfect Breathing:  Transform your Life One Breath at a Time by AL Lee and Don Campbell
Video of the day:  Bellying Breathing on Anxietycoach.com
Three breathing exercises (Dr. Weil)

Tilting At Windmills

Fall has arrived, and with it the coming of the dark.  For many, it's the beginning of this season rather than Jan.1st that marks the psychological start to a new Year.   It's a good time to take inventory.

A few nights ago, I had a terrible dream.  There had been a murder in an area I was vacationing, and when I came back from hiking to the home where I was staying, the door was ajar. The house was ok, but as I went to secure the back door, the murderer came in, and made clear his intent to harm me.  At some point I remembered what I did for a living, and started talking him down, buying time.  I'll spare you the long winded details, but what was interesting to me in the dream was that as we talked, and I listened to him with genuine curiosity and compassion, he grew smaller and smaller, and I realized I didn't need to fear him at all.

Jung says dreams come to us in service of of Psyche, as letters from the unconscious.  My webmaster pal Hal might say some dreams come in reaction to the pastrami we had for dinner.  This particular dream may have been symptomatic of too much CNN.  But since I'd seen Don Quixote in Ashland the previous weekend-- well, I saw a different possibility.  It seemed a representation of how our fears can become gigantic, hold us hostage.  How they can cause us much more trouble than they are actually capable of inflicting, with our help.  And about how when we face them, with curiosity and compassion, they shrink and lose their power.  I had a very similar dream five years ago.  As before, I'll take it as an invitation to look more closely at what fears might be holding me back in growth.

Resources:  For an interesting article on Jung, check out this week's New York Times Sunday magazine.  Find it here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/20/magazine/20jung-t.html?emc=eta1

Update:  This morning's GT had a sweet article about the local Waldorf school's Michaelmas celebration, echoing the theme of this entry.   Second-grader slays his dragon!

You are not your mood.

One day last week I woke up cranky. Might have stayed up too late, might have been the moon. Maybe I had a bad dream. Whatever the reason, I woke up irritated, and projected it on everything. A series of regular delights and irritations followed:
some things I wanted to happen, didn't, even though I did my part. I had a nice breakfast with a colleague. Someone talking on a cell phone nearly ran me over. I found a present from a stranger. Point being: things happen. Every day. Good things, bad things. But from my half-empty-glass state, my attention wanted to focus on the bad.
That morning, I noticed my mood and decided I would make a real effort to act reasonably even though I don't feel reasonable. In my therapy practice, I talk a lot about acceptance, as in the Serenity Prayer: deal with reality you can't change, change what you can, be smart enough to figure the difference. I figured I may not be in charge of my mood. Feelings aren't facts; they rise up when they want. But how we act on them-- we can take charge of that. It wasn't easy. I wanted to snap at people (and I did, time to time, before I caught it), but for the most part I was intentionally kind and patient, even though some rascally part of me wasn't motivated to that. I want to be clear that I was not denying my mood or feelings. Rather, I was choosing my behavior, on the premise the mood would pass. I thought about the economist I quoted in an earlier blog who noted our future self often would prefer we make different choices than our present self desires. I practiced, in short, being a grown up and doing the hard but right thing.
It was simple, but it was eye opening. The next day, when I inexplicably woke in a good mood, I was able to assess my choices of the day before and feel ok about them.
There's a story I sometimes tell, about a king who was terribly melancholy and searching for a cure. He hired and fired various priests, sages, doctors and wizards. Nothing worked. After a time, he was presented with a ring and told it would do the trick. Inscribed on the ring: "This too will pass."
That's the deal with moods. In his book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff , the late Richard Carlson noted that we wake up different days in completely different moods, despite the same circumstances we had the day before. No sense reworking your life-- or your reactions, or behaviors-- on something so transient.
Good stuff, bad stuff--this too, will pass.
Jana