It's beautiful outside right now. The skies are a rare Oregon-clear, the stars bright and the breeze perfectly cool. The moon is reluctant to rise just yet, but I know it's out there, big and yellow and still swollen though waning. The sun is out there too in that dark somewhere too, though as is often true of our sources of life and light it's not apparent from our limited perspective.
I read a sad and beautiful letter tonight from an old friend writing on Caring Bridge. If you know the site, you know that you are visiting it because there are Big Scary Things afoot. The friend talked about how she is working with integration of the return of her (miraculously and temporarily disappeared) terminal diagnosis. Her incredible shine, her integrity and devotion to love as the centering point was profound. She didn't shy away from the fear part. She bore witness.I went to the backyard and sat and stared at the sky and cried. This woman's community is strong. And everyone in it would likely gladly give up a year of our life to add a month to hers. But we don't get those choices. There are a lot of choices we don't get. What amazes me is the choice some people make to go into love when facing death. To keep getting bigger and bigger in spite of all the good reasons to withdraw.
In gratitude and with love to my friend and teacher A~.
Jana
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